Querying is much like cooking and serving a meal.
If your guest doesn’t like your food, you may be a bad cook and burned the heck out of that eggplant . . .
you may have made the most divine eggplant parmesan to ever grace the earth . . . but your guest just doesn’t like eggplant.
Or maybe they do like eggplant but only fried eggplant.
Maybe they tried eggplant one time and thought they liked it but just realized they didn’t.
Maybe your eggplant is too spicy for them.
Or not spicy enough.
Maybe it’s covered in cheese and they prefer tomato sauce.
Maybe they usually like eggplant but just ate another meal and are too full for any more food.
Maybe they usually like eggplant but have food poisoning.
Maybe by the time they get around to eating your eggplant it’s gotten cold.
Maybe they used to like eggplant but are sick of it.
Maybe they ate your chef friend’s food instead — that friend who makes food everyone seems to like. And perhaps that’s because chef friend makes mac and cheese while you made eggplant parmesan.
In only one of these scenarios are you a bad cook.
Learning to recognize the difference between “I am a bad cook” and “I made eggplant parmesan, and it’s (literally) not to everyone’s taste” will save you a lot of mental agony and heartache.
So every time you get a rejection, just whisper to yourself,
“Not everyone likes eggplant.”